That’s for if things get really hardcore. Or if you wanna blow up moons. No one’s blowing up moons. You just wanna suck the joy out of everything.
some really confused drunk guy starts on fucking boat with two annoying british people, and then you end up at some fucked up lighthouse thats really fucking dark even though its a lighthouse. You sonic to some flying city made by the two annoying british people. everyone wants to fuck george washington. Its really fucking weird and you get some magical power or some shit. but people dont like you because you have some weird ass letters on your hand. so then everyone is like “yo you gonna die” but then you’re like “haha nuh-uh” and you kill like everyone. then you get to this gigantic floating tower thingy and you find a girl. you need this girl for money. so you kidnap her. she doesn’t really care. but santa gets fucking infuriated because shes like his kid but shes technically not his kid. then youre like “wanna go to the paris oui oui” and shes like “hell yeah hell yeah fucking right damn right” but you like crash or some shit and you end up on a beach and all the ladies are like “I really want that dick” and you’re like “haha nuh-uh” then this girl starts dancing and youre like “we gotta go” then the british people show up and ask “bird or cage bruh?” then you choose because she wears that shit until she fuckin dies. So then you trick this girl into seriously think youre going to paris but shes like “lol wrong coordinates” and youre like “haha nuh-uh” turns out youre taking her to new york and shes like “NO MAN” so she escapes. you chase after her until you fight her mom and youre like “wHY IS MOMTHER A GHOST?” so you fight like 50,000 ghosts and find out that shes actually your kid but you sold her for booze. Like any good dad does. you also fight your friend that you were in the war with but hes batshit crazy. so then she kills someone and cuts off her hair and wears her moms clothes. shes then like “booker are u afraid of floaty man in sky?” and your like “NAHHH but you creep the fuck out of me lol back uP" you meet some girl and liz opens a tear and the girl that you met is all like "bOOKER U DED A HERO" and youre like "nO YOU DONT UNDERSTAND ASSHOLE" so they try to kill you. then you just get rlly fucking annoyed and brutually fucking murder everyone. then your kid liz shows up in like 5 different outfits and is like "is he santa???" "no hes booker" and ur like "NAH IM BOTH" and you drown.
imagine spock going back to vulcan to be honored with an award for scientific excellency or whatever
and even though its an award ceremony its still very solemn theres no clapping or cheering when people come on stage
finally its spocks turn and as he bows to the high priest and straightens up to receive his medal he hears a REALLY LOUD whistle from the audience
and he turns around and jims in the middle of all these stone faced vulcans like
“A scarlet steam engine was waiting next to a platform packed with people. A sign overhead said Hogwarts Express, eleven o’clock. Harry looked behind him and saw a wrought-iron archway where the barrier had been, with the words Platform Nine and Three-Quarters on it.
Smoke from the engine drifted over the heads of the chattering crowd, while cats of every color wound here and there between their legs. Owls hooted to one another in a disgruntled sort of way over the babble and the scraping of heavy trunks.”Happy September 1st, y’all!
Django unchained (2012)
Dominic Mitchell [x] confirming that this was, in fact, Kieren’s first kiss:
every 1st september we joke about getting ready for hogwarts to cover up the very real and very very deep scars of never getting our letters
Clementine will remember that.
Godfrey Gao for MILK Magazine
inspired by [x]
Charlize Theron saving Brandon Flowers’ ass from ninjas.